As I have done a lot (probably more than I should) of searching through various sites about femdom, including chat boards, and porn sites, and blogs, etc., I have come to a realization of some things.  First and foremost – the porn side of it is the extreme fantasy from the male perspective.  That being said, history does not lend itself to allowing women to naturally take on the role of being the one in control or dominant.  While there have been some queens along the way most of what you hear about in society/history is the kings of the past and the great male business leaders.  There are many examples of that “superior role/gender” in place including things like the woman taking on the man’s name when married, the stay-at-home mom, military, sports, and the list can go on.  From my perspective that tends to lend to the ongoing viewpoint that women should yeild to men.

As I had gained interest in femdom and flr and chastity I began noticing that when on chat boards or blogs about bdsm a very heavy majority of those that were female were coming in from the submissive side always looking for a daddy to degrade them and tell them what to do.  I am writing this post in hopes of understanding a bit more about why that is through some responses from others that read it.  For those that are dommes, have you always felt a sense of control and superiority over men, or did that develop over time?  For guys that are Doms – does that stem from your upbringing of “the guy is in charge”?  For the women that are sub in nature – is that based on your upbringing of being below men?  For the guys like me – have you been hesitant to show your submissive side because of how society views the roles of men vs women?

I would argue that if women knew how to use their femininity to their advantage they would quickly realize how much more control they would have in society even if physically speaking they may not be the stronger person.  But even with my wife/mistress – she has been slow to develop her controlling side because, as she put it when I first presented my interests and the ideas, “that’s just not how I was raised – so it will take me some time to get use to it”.

I do recognize that I am in the minority as a submissive male, as are dominant minded women.  I just don’t know if it is nature vs nurture that is the reasoning behind that and I’m looking for some response from the blogoshpere to help me gain some understanding.

These last few years have been the most exciting and pleasurable of our marriage – and it continues to get better.  And that is all because my focus is on her and her focus is on me so that we both are mutually happy with the relationship.  Mistress said just last night that, “we have been having a lot of fun even while I’m finishing up my Masters degree, and we’ll have even more fun after I graduate”.  I am anxiously awaiting that spring time graduation where we can utilize even more time to explore our roles in the relationship.

Credit: Entering FLR marriage